happiness vs. joy

i'm reading a book called "social intelligence" by daniel goleman, and i found this to be an interesting assertion considering it is not coming from any kind of christian perspective.

in regard to parenting and shielding children from any kind of difficulty or failure:

"that notion misreads the data on resilience and happiness: such overprotection is in fact a form of deprivation. the idea that a child should avoid misery at all costs distorts both the reality of life and the ways children learn to find happiness.

more important for a child than seeking some elusive perpetual happiness, researchers find, is learning how to deescalate emotional storms. the goal for parenting should not be achieving a brittle 'positive' psychology-clinging to a state of perpetual joy in one's children-but rather teaching a child how to return on her own to a state of contentment, whatever may happen."

interesting contrast of happiness compared with joy. even from a worldly perspective, they don't believe shielding oneself from pain produces depth and true joy. i wonder what the prosperity gospel blasphemers would say about this.. haha...

reflection.

life is in such a whirlwind right now. but i am so amazed and praising the Lord that i am feeling peace like never before. i feel my attention stretched as i'm having to pay attention to a hundred little details, but able to rest in knowing that the Lord is guiding my steps. if you knew me a year ago.. you would seriously wonder if this is the same person. i am that person who takes everything into her hands and controls it, praying that the Lord will bless the things she goes after... rather than simply trusting that the Lord will bring about His plans in His time, and it's ok if it isn't exactly what i had pictured. in fact.. it's generally much more beautiful. a year ago, i was struggling with how to walk and move and take initiative without wrapping my heart up in something to the point that i become crushed when it doesn't work out. i was caught in a seemingly endless cycle of big hopes and dreams being crushed and stripped from my hands. this year has been filled with many things coming and going. as i'm trying to figure out exactly what direction i need to go down, what to pursue, what to let go of, i am experiencing a freedom that i never imagined could exist. i am still dreaming and walking toward those dreams, but i'm learning that the goal is not those dreams in and of themselves. the goal is more of Christ, and if i am moving in that direction, it doesn't matter how i get there. God has proven himself faithful. he never moves early, but he never fails to move. he makes everything beautiful in his time. if i truly believe his is both sovereign and good, i can confidently trust in his guiding. and i know he's not gonna reveal all the answers to me right now, so i have no other choice but to leave the future in his hands and seek him for how i should walk today. i am amazed at the work he has done in my heart. how he used my own selfishness and pride to humble me and let me see the beauty and freedom in truly trusting him. not just to bless my choices, but to take away the things i think i need so that he may be more glorified.

what a beautiful God.

hope in heartache.

i've been thinking a lot about love and heartache. i've been thinking about how differently we as christians should and do deal with these issues. i mean.. we hurt just as deeply as everyone else, but we can have a different perspective on the pain. if we really believe that the Lord is both sovereign and good, even our pain becomes an opportunity for growth.. and joy. it seems that these times of deep pain can be some of the most beautiful moments with the Lord. think about it.. when we come to this place of complete brokenness, and then for even just a moment see a crystal clear glimpse of how the Lord is working growth through the situation, and we are able to feel the closeness of the spirit like we can only experience when we are at the end of ourselves, then we can hold to hope in our spirit that He is all we could ever need or want. our life becomes no longer about the pain we are experiencing in this moment, but about something much bigger than ourselves. truly realizing that our life is not our own. finding the only true life in laying ours down. this crazy paradox that miraculously leads to more freedom and joy than we could have ever imagined. without Christ, what can the world hope in? without this understanding that the Almighty is intricately working in our lives to bring us a place of greatest joy, how can they deal with the dark, deep hurts that we feel? my heart is burdened tonight for those that experience pain without a hope to which they can cling.

strength in weakness.

my devotional yesterday talked about resting in times of weakness. funny.. 'cause the Lord has been teaching this to me in the last few weeks. i always want to do something. fix things. if something is wrong, i want to work toward a solution. make progress. move forward. and the Lord has so graciously put me at a place where everything is literally outside of my control. there is nothing that i can do. no arm that i can twist. no band-aid that i can put on my heart to make it feel better. it's simply going to take time and the Lord's grace and healing to pull me through this point. a frustrating and freeing lesson all in one. realizing it is out of my control is something that is hard for me to accept and be able to operate within. but at the same time, makes me feel so free in realizing that i don't have to figure it out. i don't have to try to move forward and find healing. i can lean on Him and He will be my strength. in His time, He will pull me to the other side and make something so beautiful in its time. He does that. not me. i can take no credit. so i wait. patiently? well.. i try to wait patiently, at least.. leaning upon Him and the support of priceless friends to hold me up and teach me in the midst of weakness.

He is good.