seasons.

As Dallas is in this crazy season we call winter, I feel as though life is following suit. Each week during winter in Texas seems like a fresh start. One week, the cold of the north blows in and coats, scarves, and mittens must come out. The next, we are basking in the sunshine of a balmy 72. Rain comes one day, and 'snow' the next. Ice storms, hail, wind. You never know what you are going to get week by week during winter in Texas. Such is life...

Ben and I are trying to figure out our next steps. Ever since we got married, both of us feel like we've been in a holding pattern. Trying to keep dreaming in check with reality and the 'responsibility' of adulthood. It's been an interesting balance. One day, we feel like we could grow wings and fly away somewhere crazy and begin anew. The next, the thoughts of that scare us into dreaming up a comfortable life right here. I've come to a place of contentment. Occasionally, I still get overwhelmed and stressed and impatient at God for not giving me exactly what I want right now. But overall, I don't know what life holds, I do know I am in His hands, and that ultimately, He will guide us to the place that will bring more of Him into our lives. His glory and sanctification should be our goals more than the logistics of day to day life.

So we wait.
and wait.
and wait some more.

I've been in seasons like this before. It never works out how I ever would have imagined. Lessons learned: I cannot figure out or understand what God is doing. He eventually will reveal his plan. And then peace.....will follow. Until then, I pray for strength and peace to wait.

My hope is that by the time Texas is back to it's perpetual heat of summer, life will be a little more constant, as well. But even if it isn't, I know He is good. And that must be enough for my heart to know.

2010.

New Year's Resolutions:

1. Eat better. I've read the books and watched the documentaries. Now it's time to really focus some energy on being a healthier person. Eliminate as much high fructose corn syrup as possible, and eat lots of organic fruits and veggies. Little to no fast food. And sodas...you've got to go.

2. Run. I've never been a runner, but this is my year. I am determined to experience that runner's high I've heard so much about. And 8 mile Turkey Trot...this year, you are mine.

3. Clean. My apartment drives me crazy when it's a mess. Although it's proven a little harder with a husband around, I am determined to make sure we have a clean home each night before we go to bed and that "stuff" does not pile up everywhere. Clutter, you will not own me this year.

4. Record. My journaling has all but disappeared from my life in 2009. A very strange occurence for me since I generally go through one or two journals each year. But this year, I will face my demons once again, meeting with the Lord and recording all the things he is doing in my heart.

5. Budget. Ben and I tried a very structured budget, and we failed pretty badly. Dave Ramsey says it will take you 3 or 4 months to get it down. After one, we gave up. I'm determined to get us back on track so that we are as wise as we can be with our money.

Those are the big ones. I'm so excited that I have a sweet husband to walk alongside me and keep me accountable this year. 2010.. I am ready for you.