Trading it all for HIM.

It's already been 9 months since Ben and I got married. On the one hand, it seems like time has passed so quickly. On the other, it seems that we've been married forever. Time has a funny way of doing that.

It's been such an interesting time of learning, stretching, growing. I never realized how difficult it would be not really having stable jobs. Money stress is new to me, and at times, it's been too much for me to handle. But I know God is sovereign in all of this and has had his hand working through it all. The day after Ben proposed, my company let me know that they were going to cut my hours to a third of what I was working. What a sense of humor there, God. This year has been quite a journey of self-discovery, though. Taking a hard look at what I want out of life and how to get to a place of where we want to be. Realizing the dark things in my life that have been left unexposed until tested and tried. Learning to lean on my sweet husband and his faith that God always provides. And he has. God has proven faithful. Each month I am amazed to see that somehow, it all works out. There have been weeks where we have been working so much that we hardly see each other, and then weeks where we can't seem to catch any hours. I've learned that inconsistency is not something I easily deal with. I feel like we are just approaching the climax of everything. Stepping out on faith that God will provide a teaching job for me in the fall, and in the meantime, giving up a good portion of my income to make that happen. I just keep reminding myself that God is faithful and that he provides. And what's more... He is enough. Stuff doesn't satisfy. I don't need things to make me happy. He is beautiful to show me that all I have is given by him and we are to loosen our grip on the things he has graciously placed in our lives. I pray for this kind of faith. A sweet reminder that our life is not our own....