growth.

i'm like one of those people i badger about posting more frequently. my apologies to any that may have been a victim to my badgering.

the Lord has been so faithful in teaching me soooo much over the last couple of months. i will hit the high points:

1. i am learning to cling to Him in ways that i've never known before. being the self-sufficient, independent girl that i am.. i've been broken and so aware of my need of His strength. i'm learning my inadequacy, but find hope in realizing that He is adequate.

2. in the midst of my learning to cling to Him, i'm also learning the beauty of deep community. finding wholeness through shared experiences and accountability. all in all, i suppose you could say that my independent banner i have proudly held most of my life has been broken down. and what a beautiful process it has been.

3. logic fails. this has probably been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. i want to believe that things can be explained, but the Lord has shown me through several broken situations that i can't figure Him out. His ways are higher than mine, and i can't understand what He does. this lesson is also coupled with the realization that i can't always use logic to sway my heart. sometimes we just have to feel hurt and pain, and no matter how clearly we can see the situation, that doesn't soothe a broken heart. the only thing that can do that is time and continued pursuit of the Lord.

4. He is good. even when i can't understand what's going on.. i can rest in this crazy faith that my life is being held together by the almighty creator of the universe, and He loves me. so even the most distressful situations can be seen as glorious because it is all part of his plan in moving us toward Him. it is beautiful.

5. i overthink things. i know.. surprising. but seriously.. i need to learn to STOP thinking and just stop and praise. if i am pursing Him, He's not gonna let me get all crazy and screw up my life. He's directing it anyway, so i must just draw closer to Him and listen for His whispers to know the next step toward His purposes in my life.

those are some tidbits. there's so much more.. but let's just stop and rest in him for a moment. find our hearts' satisfaction in him alone.. everything else fades in the light of that.