Trading it all for HIM.

It's already been 9 months since Ben and I got married. On the one hand, it seems like time has passed so quickly. On the other, it seems that we've been married forever. Time has a funny way of doing that.

It's been such an interesting time of learning, stretching, growing. I never realized how difficult it would be not really having stable jobs. Money stress is new to me, and at times, it's been too much for me to handle. But I know God is sovereign in all of this and has had his hand working through it all. The day after Ben proposed, my company let me know that they were going to cut my hours to a third of what I was working. What a sense of humor there, God. This year has been quite a journey of self-discovery, though. Taking a hard look at what I want out of life and how to get to a place of where we want to be. Realizing the dark things in my life that have been left unexposed until tested and tried. Learning to lean on my sweet husband and his faith that God always provides. And he has. God has proven faithful. Each month I am amazed to see that somehow, it all works out. There have been weeks where we have been working so much that we hardly see each other, and then weeks where we can't seem to catch any hours. I've learned that inconsistency is not something I easily deal with. I feel like we are just approaching the climax of everything. Stepping out on faith that God will provide a teaching job for me in the fall, and in the meantime, giving up a good portion of my income to make that happen. I just keep reminding myself that God is faithful and that he provides. And what's more... He is enough. Stuff doesn't satisfy. I don't need things to make me happy. He is beautiful to show me that all I have is given by him and we are to loosen our grip on the things he has graciously placed in our lives. I pray for this kind of faith. A sweet reminder that our life is not our own....

A beautiful thing to add.

I was at one of my three jobs the other day, and the manager of the apartments looked out the window and noticed a dad playing with his little girls on the playground. She told me that his girlfriend had died recently in a motorcycle accident, and following her death, her mother took his children from him. She tried to get child support from him and told people he did terrible things to his children. The manager went to court with him and he had just won his kids back on Friday. I felt like I was experiencing the end of a movie when all is finally well and a daddy gets to catch his little girl as she zooms down the slide.

beautiful.

little joys.

I am learning more and more to appreciate the little joys in life. Sweet kisses from my husband before we go to sleep. Mr. Bruce chasing his tail and acting all cute. An old man talking about the 'good ole' days. A daddy holding his daughters hand in the store. An afternoon nap. Sweet piano playing from My Love. Green lights. A good meal with friends. So much beauty lies in simple, everyday places. We just don't often take time to appreciate them.I constantly feel my heart tugging to enjoy these things. But there's another pull on my heart. It's so easy to settle for less and desire things above the joys God offers us. I want stuff. I want new clothes or new things for my house. To go out and consume, consume, consume. With less discretionary money than my college years, I am realizing more and more how I want to feel my heart with stuff to make me happy. The thing is, the newness always wears off and then I want new things. I pray that I can learn to find all of my joy in the experiences and beauty that God offers all around. So I leave you with some beauties that stir my heart.

snow. with my love(s).

touchdown dancing. in the cowboys endzone.

rollerskating.

and last, but certainly not least, these lovely ladies.