the art of being known.

i asked the Lord two years ago for deeper relationships, and i am just now really beginning to take a look back and appreciate all that he has done in these two years. i can see how i was virtually horrified of letting anyone close enough to see that i'm not perfect. my anthem to the world:
"you will never know who i really am inside. you only see what i can't hide. and if you even see that much, then stop right there. that's close enough." -levi smith

but the Lord has broken me and made me less than satisfied with superficial relationships that stroke my ego and hide my insecurities. i have learned through home group and trying to walk through life living authentically, that only in times of great vulnerability can you truly be known and encouraged. i have learned to share my failings and that with friends i have grown to trust, these confessions are never met by judgmental eyes or pitiful remarks, but with mourning and love. this is a beauty of christian community that i feel few other people are able to experience. it saddens me that most christians even, are unable to tear down their pride enough to experience this blessing.

also, i've come to learn the beauty in knowing a person and truly being known. what it's like to take down your guard and decide that you are really going to give this thing called love a shot. oh what a great risk to share yourself and have no guarantee of this person's reaction. but being known is one of the deepest longings of our heart, and with such deep water, much risk is present. as chandler has often said, we are called to love, no matter what the other person's response may be. oh, to appreciate the beauty and depth of a love that cannot be swayed. a love that is diligent and puts its own desires to sleep in the light of caring for another. my prayer today is that i may learn this kind of love. for i feel it greater than any other thing we could experience in this broken world.