living the extreme love.

i had an epiphany today:

it's oftentimes much easier to love strangers at a distance than to unconditionally and deeply love the people in my everyday life.

i was thinking today about how Jesus commanded us to love our enemies (ok.. that one's hard) but also to love those than can offer us nothing in return. i have this strong sense of conviction for the homeless and impoverished. i want to sell all my things and just go and live and love them. i want to be in the hard places and find fulfillment in seeing the impact a simple act of kindness can have on a person's demeanor. don't worry.. i'm still working at this. i have a passion for it, but find that my practice often falls short of really walking this out. but on the other hand, i find it much more difficult at times to love my family, roommates and friends.

why is this?

well... you are much more vulnerable with these people. they actually know you, so are much more able to prod at just the right time to deeply hurt you. also, you know them on a deeper level, so you are able to get closer and see the things that may frustrate you about them. i can say i love my friends and act kindly toward them, but how do i respond when i get frustrated with them? what do i do when i feel like they are making less effort than me in the relationship? instead of loving them with an extreme love and pursuing them.. really pouring into them and edifying them.. rather than going out of my way to make sure they are loved and cared for i find myself frustrated and prideful. unwilling to get over myself enough to find out what is going on under the surface.

oh God, may i not forgot that my neighbor is not just the stranger down the street, but also my family member that i find no common ground with. i may take these in my life for granted and it seems like this is a place the enemy can plant a seed.

i want extreme love in EVERY area. not just the distant, disconnected places.