My friend, Jen, shared this on her blog yesterday. I love it.
"We may fear we are so impeded by fretting, petty cares that we are gaining nothing; but when we are not sending any branches upward, we may be sending roots downward."

As expressed in my last post, lots of things are up in the air. I am still working meager hours at my job. I pick up subbing jobs when my will and providence collide. ie. I'm not extremely consistent with the choosing. I had an interview with DBU the other day about a possible position. I should find out next week if that is a deal, or if there will be more waiting. I am still in the process of becoming certified to teach in the fall. At this point, we're up for almost anything. Just ready for a change. We'll see.

In the meantime, it's hard not to feel like I am just watching life pass me by. It's easy to be lazy when you feel there is nothing to do. My parents gave me a sewing machine for my birthday. That has been nice. An opportunity to create something. So I'm getting quite a collection of aprons (pictures to be posted soon). I have a desire to read something really great, but never seem in the mood to find something and then be still long enough to read.

In the words of John Mayer, "It's just a season thing. It's just this thing that seasons do." Perfectly ambiguous to sum up life right now. It just is what it is. I feel ready to tackle the new thing. Just waiting to figure out what that new thing is.

As I lay here in bed, next to my sweet, sleeping husband (a 5am bible study will do that to you) and my puppy cuddled up between us, the only thing I realize I can do is enjoy this time. I want nothing more than for us to have 9-5 jobs right now that provide financial security and allow us time together. The 'American Dream' looks frighteningly appealing right now. But this is where we are. Nights alone while Ben works and goes to school. Random points during the day together when we're both actually home together. For now, this is how it must be. So I need to just embrace it and have fun. I always want to remember to have fun. I get in such a serious mode that I can't allow myself to have fun. I want to work on that. And everything else, well I know He's got it figured out and it will all come together in his time. I'm learning to appreciate each brushstroke because He is working a masterpiece in my life. It's just hard to see at times.