optimism.

I had a couple of really good conversations with some sweet friends last week. I've been doing a great deal of thinking about optimism ever since. Over the past year or so, I feel that I have let my heart slowly harden and grow bitter from life. I feel a constant stream of slammed doors to opportunities I felt would ease my burden and carry me toward the place I want to be. My general cheery demeanor and optimism has seemed to seep from my heart and taken a bit of compassion along with them. In my thinking, I have realized that it takes more than just saying I need to be optimistic. Hopeful. I have to have a reason for hope. Optimism is rooted out of a heart that is peaceful and has found joy. Hope is an overflow of a heart that is fully satisfied. Something deeper than a contentment with what life has brought. It's about more than endurance of life as it is. Hope is aware of the sovereign God who holds all things in his hands. A God whose love is unmatched and unshaken and is working each and everyday for my good. A beautiful thing. This is what I want. This is what I am praying for right now in my life. A peace and joy that overflows with hope and colors every other part of my life. He is good and speaking sweetly to my soul this morning.

Psalm 39:7
"And now, Oh Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you."